AKA: THE PROCUREMENT-ATION OF MIMI!
Kristen the Yellow Lab and I are all abuzz. The rumor mill reports that Our Lady of Unearthly Vocal Range is this close to signing on the dotted line to be the newest judge on American Idol. For a cool $17 million, The Divine Mrs. Cannon will get to wear a different sparkly gown each week, wave like royalty to the maniacally-cheering audience behind her, and come up with her own trademark catch phrase to repeat to the contestants. (Note to Mimi: "Goosies" belongs to JLo just as incomprehensible muttering is licensed to Paula.)
In other words, Mariah is taking on the "Pretty, middle-aged woman who was once a multi-platinum-selling artist whose career has taken a nosedive" role. Kristen and I feel she is a good acquisition for Idol. Unlike JLo and Steven Tyler, she has always had a genuine interest in the show, itself, and we do not feel she is taking this gig to use as a quick-fix to get her musical career back on track In fact, it has long been rumored that Mariah's voice is shot. Also, when she served as a mentor in Season 7, she gave quality feedback. Most likely, Mariah will be the "kind" judge, the role played best by Paula. But, who will join her on the judges panel?
The buzz on the street (aka Twitter and gossip rags) is that the show is considering former contestant Adam Lambert. Kristen and I would love this, naturally. We could see him being the bitchy judge with the strongest sense of what the audience is looking for in a contestant, the role forever immortalized by Simon Cowell. Of course, fans of other Idols are not happy with this news. What about THEIR Idol? Why isn't THEIR Idol on the short list? So, would choosing Adam polarize those fans?
Other names being tossed about include Fergie from Black-Eyed Peas, who we think would be the new Randy, and industry insider with a solid track-record, but not a particularly entertaining judge. The Queen of Soul, herself, Miss Aretha Franklin, has put her own name forward saying she'd love to do the gig. Kristen and I agree she'd be brilliant, but we do not believe there's room enough on that panel for two divas (Maria and Aretha) much less three (Mariah/Aretha/Adam.) Miley Cyrus has been mentioned as well. She would be a smart move on the part of Fox as she could draw in the younger viewers, a demographic missing for the show. And, of course, who can forget the lovable Charlie Sheen? He has also thrown his name into the ring. Charlie would be a risky choice only because of his substance abuse issues (*cough* Paula *cough*). Otherwise, he has proven himself to be quick-witted and unafraid of controversy. But, will he draw in or repel viewers?
At any rate, it's going to be fun speculating until the Grand Announcement is made sometime in late August. For Idols' money, Kristen and I think the best panel would consist of Mariah (diva with a long, successful career in the industry), Adam (snarky-witted, controversial, polarizing contestant who knows full well that Idol is a game show, first and foremost,) and Miley (for the youngsters.) What do you think?