KRISTEN THE YELLOW LAB'S DOSE OF REALITY: AMERICAN IDOL, X FACTOR, AND SUNDRY!: American Idol 14

AKA: SAVE THE LAST DANCER

Kristen the Yellow Lab and I are at the picture show! After all, what better way to celebrate Movie Night on American Idol than to pay $15 for a bucket of popcorn and have the medics called to defibrillate us back to life thanks to the heart-stoppingly loud sound system? At any rate, we are ready to be dazzled with the Idol performances of great songs from the movies!

"These 3-D glasses are great. I swear I can see right through JLo's clothes. Oh wait. She is barely wearing any."

Here comes Ryan to explain that out of the eleven contestants seated, only 10 will make it through. The other will sing for the save. So, we are advised to just sit back, relax, and take a few Xanax while we wait to find out if our favorite is safely in the Top 10.

Adanna is the first to learn she has made it to the next round! Tonight, she performs "I Love You I Do" from Dream Girls. She has brought back all the theatricality that made her unappealing in the early rounds. It is not a horrible performance, but it's not memorable either. That could spell trouble for this "come from behind" contender.

And the next contestant to make it through is..... Nooooo!!!! DANIEL has moved onto the next round. We have only one thing to say about that.

His song this week is "Lost Stars" from , but it might as well be anything because it is the same, old bit of awfulness. Can we all put the tweens in time-out next week during voting hours?

What can we say? Rayvon has also made it into the Top 10. He will try to move on from there with his own take on "Stayin' Alive" from Saturday Night Fever. Oh lord help us all. He performs the song entirely in falsetto (which is something only to be done by Justin Timberlake or one of the Brothers Gibb) and turns a disco dynamo into a slow crawl. We have nothing to say. Except:

Speaking of boring, here comes Nick to perform"Danger Zone" from Top Gun. He continues to earn his nickname "Daughtry-Lite" as he plays at being a rocker. He reminds Kristen and I of those days when there were ads on TV for cheap record albums containing the top hits. You thought you were getting the originals but they were all sung by imposters. Nick would have fit right in at K-Tel, Inc.

Hurray for Joey! She has made the ultimate Top 10 and will celebrate by performing Adam Lambert's "Mad World."

We meant Tears for Fears, of course.

We can't even be mad at her, because Joey does a beautiful job of using her nervous energy to give the song weight. This is the best we've seen of our Joey!

Hurray! Our Li'l T - aka Tyanna - made it! She has selected "Circle of Life" from the Lion King with which to impress us with her 16-year-old vocal prowess. Except...oh. It is an off night for our girl. It doesn't help that everyone is going to compare her version to the one JHud gave in Season 3 where she basically ripped the roof off the place. This is Tyanna's first misstep, but it is a big one.

Let the joyous news be spread! Quentin made it! That's what Ryan said!

Our man has opted for a slow version of "You're the One That I Want" from Grease. We love it. As far as we are concerned, Quentin can sing every song in just this same way. "Beer Barrel Polka," the theme song from "Barney".... It will all have the same effect on us.

Despite requiring medical attention last week, Maddie has survived and is here to sing "Let's Hear It For the Boy." We aren't sure which boy we're supposed to hear it for, but he would not be pleased with Maddie's lackluster performance. Or that headband.

Oh, guess what everyone? Clark made it! What a shock since everyone and their grandmother loves Clark. Except for Kristen and me.

Clark chose that famous movie classic "Sunday Morning" by Maroon Five from the Cheaper By the Dozen soundtrack. As usual, he does a credible job. As usual, we simply do not care.

All this means that the last two sitting in the chairs of doom are Jax and Qaasim.

Ryan tells us that Jax earned the last spot in the top 10, which makes us both happy and sad. We love Jax, but also love Qaasim. Though, we didn't love either last week, so this is the correct bottom two. She has made an unusual choice with "I Wanna Grow Old With You" originally sung by Adam Sandler on The Wedding Singer Soundtrack. This isn't pitch-perfect, but it's sweet. Kristen and I still believe that Jax, despite her vocal shortcomings, has the best shot at stardom of the bunch.