AKA: WHERE'S THE BEEF?
|"All bun, no meat, makes Idol a dull boy."|
|"Kids today with their Net Flicks and Hula Hoops. They have no respect for the tradition of giving up your social life for a program you love."|
Don't worry too much, as some things haven't changed. You'll still find Keith singing along like a love-struck teenaged girl to every performance. JLo remains the most camera-aware person on the planet, always ready with the stank face and chest pops. And Harry? Harry continues to be The Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz after he found his smarts. "If you take it up a 5th and the square root of the super nova is a multiplied by jet-fuel proportionate to distance traveled, you will reach the quantum state and your intonation will be perfect. Any questions?"
|Professor Harold Von Know-It-All, Jr.|
|"It's all downhill from here. Isn't it, Kristen?"|
As for the new voting system and how it is going to play out as far as which contestants stay and which go home, we'll just leave that up to these guys.
|"Ryan? We've got a problem."|
One of the worst things about the new system is what it does to the performances. Because of the combined results/performance nature of the show, the contestants are obviously emotionally traumatized as they await their fate. Then, when they get the news that they made it and must step up to the stage and perform at that exact moment, they are given a jolt of adrenaline reserved for Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.
|Did you actually think I'd post a gif of that horrific needle in her chest?|
Fetus (aka: 15 year old Daniel) learns that his middle-school-age fans have voted him through, and rewards them with an embarrassingly horrific performance of Paula Abdul's "Straight Up." This song has Kristen and I reminiscing back to the days when our Pauler was totally inappropriate with the youngsters. So fun! Hashtag: #BringBackPauler!
Maddie made it! She gives us a serviceable version of No Doubt's "Suitcase." She is a lovely young lady, and also the only country singer on the show, which means she should stick around for awhile.
If the joyful, mega-talent, 16-year-old Tyanna, had not made it through, America would have some 'splainin' to do. Fortunately, she made it to the top 12 where she gave us a sweet and age-appropriate version of "Wings" by Little Mix.
Nick is one of a dozen, and we mean that in the kindest way. Though he is vocally clean on his performance of Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes," he is far more of a back-up singer than a solo artist.
|"There's no shame in being a Mary Wilson, but aspire to be a Diana Ross." KT Yellow Lab|
Our favorite virgin (per his mother,) Qaasim's high-energy take on Stevie Wonder's "Sir Duke" brought the house down. The kid is a performer!
No surprise that Clark made it through. His "It's a Man's World" was a high quality vocal. There is no doubt he is the best male vocalist of the group. But, he needs to up his game and give us more modern material.
Joey gives us a Joey-ized version of Tallest Man On Earth's "King of Spain." She needs to tone down the affectations and limit the theatrics, but she is probably the most interesting contestant Idol has ever had in the Top 12.
Wild Card #1 went to Quentin who did a slow, moving version of Lorde's "Royals." His nerves got him, though, and his vocal was not as solid as it needs to be. So far, Kristen and I adore Quentin and his Princely self. However, we do worry that what can be called "haunting" by some might be termed "creepy" by others.
Wild Card #2 was a surprise. Adanna Duru! She gives us a brilliant performance of Bruno Mars "Runaway Baby." This girl is a fighter!
Worst of night: The Fetus, Nick, Sarina
Best of the night: Jax, Qaasim, Quentin
Our choice to go home: The Fetus.
Ladies and Gentlemen? Your Top 12!! Who will perform tomorrow night as the Top 11? Stay tuned...