AMERICAN IDOL 10: TOP 11 PART II: ELTON JOHN WEEK

AKA: BURN DOWN THE PIANO

Kristen the Yellow Lab and I are having a couple of vodker and tonics. After all, what better way to celebrate Elton John Week on American Idol? The two of us are far too youthful to remember when rock was young, nevertheless, we've got our electric boots and mohair suits at the ready.  We might even take a gander at horny-back toad hunting!  

At any rate, here comes that little sugar bear,  Ryan, to tell us THIS is American Idol. 

AMERICAN IDOL 10: TOP 11: MOTOWN WEEK

AKA: WHO'S A GONNA GO-GO? ANYBODY?

My girl, Kristen the Yellow Lab, and I are dancing in the streets!! After all, what better way to celebrate Motown Week on American Idol? Besides, we heard it through the grapevine that it doesn't matter what we wear, as long as we are there! So, we'll keep dancing as long as it's not the same old song. That is, until someone tells us to Stop! in the name of all things holy.

And that person would be Little Ryan Wonder, who proclaims THIS is American Idol. Then, he pulls out the same moldy filmstrip that we are forced to watch every season during MoTown week.

The judges are here because, let's face it, they've got nowhere to run. Steven seems to be on Cloud Nine, per his usual. JLo is creating a heat wave with her gorgeousness, while. Randy's vocab continues to be as simple as ABC.

AMERICAN IDOL 10: TOP 12: YEAR OF YOUR BIRTH WEEK

AKA: SMELLS LIKE TEEN WEREWOLF 

Kristen the Yellow Lab and I are having a slumber party! After all, what better way to celebrate Songs From the Year of Your Birth week on American Idol? As we've already broken into the liquor cabinet, placed each other's bras in the freezer, and played a rowdy game of Truth or Dare (Kristen has a crush on the labradoodle down the street! HA!), we have decided we will spend the next few hours watching the Idol youngsters bastardize  sing songs that are near and dear to our hearts.

Kristen and I fix ourselves another of our special sodas....

and a batch of popcorn, and settle in just as the cutest boy walks onto the stage! *squeal!!!* Oh, wait. It's just Ryan.

Ryan tells us this is American Idol and explains that  the Top 12 each chose a popular song from the year in which they were born. Which means they will be singing some of the worst music known to man - songs from the 80's and 90's.)