AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 14: Top 12

AKA: WHERE'S THE BEEF?

"All bun, no meat, makes Idol a dull boy."

Kristen the Yellow Lab and I are getting too old for this. On top of all our other woes, we don't need American Idol becoming irregular, too!  It's enough of a challenge remembering which Jimmy is Fallon, so how can we be expected to keep up with the new-fangled schedule and voting system of America's favorite talent competition? Of course, we understand they're doing it all for the young people. After all, they have the attention span of gnats and can't be bothered with two nights of American Idol if that takes them away from their twerking or quirking or whatever indecency they're up to.  But, honestly. Combining both the performance and results show into one night? Allowing voting to go on for a week, but limiting it to "20 votes per contestant per method?" In our day, you wouldn't dare suggest such a thing!

"Kids today with their Net Flicks and Hula Hoops. They have no respect for the tradition of giving up your social life for a program you love."

THE GHOST OF KRISTEN PASSED

Best In (Talent) Show Blogging

Chew on this: American Idol is in its 14th season. It debuted in the summer of 2002, when the world was a very different place. Humans still walked with their heads held upright because smart phones had yet to be invented.  We had limited access to the affairs of people we barely knew because there was no such thing as Facebook. If we wanted to watch a movie, we actually had to get in our cars and drive to the video store.  Parents were terrified that their children were going to be abducted via AOL chatrooms, and Nickelback had the number song of the year. Despite those dark times, there was one shining light - Kristen the Yellow Lab!

Shining Light